Welcome to the Indian Society. Here, we worship women.
Bharat Mata, Cow is our mother, India is our motherland. AND
we blame women for everything, from bad driving to being
o here I am, with a tutorial on how to be the perfect woman
in our beloved Indian society.
1. Clothes. If you’re showing skin, you’re doing it wrong.
If you’re showing knees, you’re slutty. You are not entitled
to wear what pleases you. NO! You’re a Bhartiya Naari. Wear
traditional outfits or you’re asking to get raped.
2. Curfew. Don’t step out after 6:00 PM. Don’t step out
during the day unaccompanied. If you do, you’re just looking
for trouble. It isn’t the pervert’s fault. It’s yours!
3. Skin color. You can NOT be dark. According to fairness
cream commercials, no one will marry you or give you a job
unless you’re white as milk. So if you’re even one shade
down on one of those shade cards they have, go shower in
milk and stock up on fairness cream.
4. Smiling and talking. That’s flirting !! How dare you talk
to a guy with a smile on your face ! How dare you compliment
him ! No ! You can’t do that ! That’s against the Indian
5. Habits. “You drink ? But you’re a girl ! You SMOKE ?
OMIGOSH ! But you’re a girl ! How can you !!” Umm. Really ?
We never realized that !!
6. Cooking. You have to know how to cook. Every single dish.
If you can’t make round rotis, you’re asking to be shunned.
“Who wants to make aloo gobhi when you can bend it like
7. Opinions. Your opinions don’t matter. So shut up and
learn something that’ll help you in life finding a suitable
Follow these and you’re golden.